I AM
a voice
& nothing more
---solely based on TRUTH & REALITY.

(Kat)
is the label
to establish my existence,
but
what power is there
in a name to
define me or you?

There is none.
Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future.

Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future.

I’m just happy to be real in a world that’s mad fake.
& silenced when we scream.

& silenced when we scream.


object d’art

simply,awork of art.

object d’art

simply,
a
work
of
art.

I never believed in love. I never wanted a relationship. I never expected to fall in love. I never even said the L word.

Of course, it’s funny how things work out.

So…I actually like a guy for more than sexual favors.
I even want to be in a “relationship” even though it’s just a silly title.

But the worst part of it isn’t the fact I might actually be in love, but knowing I’ve fallen for the one guy i know I can’t have.

It’s a strange feeling.

Why is it I can’t seem move on?
Although in the back of my mind I already know what the answer is—-it’s because he’s the best I’ve ever had.

Now isn’t that ironic.

Kat
I’m trying to find something to base my life upon,Something in this strange world that goes on and on. As the years go by and time fades away, What used to be “good days" are now filled with dismay.Tomorrow comes, and then again, it goes,And my ambition to become something more, grows and grows.Around the corner, yet miles away,The life I want now, gets closer each day.All I’ve ever wanted was something to live for,I don’t want to be this little person anymore.I’ve been basing my life upon what others think,I wish I could go back and redo everything, every time an eye would blink.I’ve fought to become who I am and what I want to be,I have to remind myself that one day, I will be free.Free from the rules I followed as a child,When everything was a game and life was so mild.Now times have changed and I realize nothing is fair,And sometimes it seems like nobody even cares.It’s like no one pays attention to what I feel is best for me,And what I think about the way some things should be.I understand now, that I’m pretty much on my own,And I know a lot of what I can do will never be known.All the time, I think about everything I can’t say, what I have to keep in,And by doing this, my thoughts only get more complicated and deepen.

Soon I hope to find out who I am, and what I am meant to become,I want to know where I’m going, I don’t need to be reminded of where I came from.

I’m trying to find something to base my life upon,
Something in this strange world that goes on and on

As the years go by and time fades away, 
What used to be “good days" are now filled with dismay.

Tomorrow comes, and then again, it goes,
And my ambition to become something more, grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,
The life I want now, gets closer each day.

All I’ve ever wanted was something to live for,
I don’t want to be this little person anymore.

I’ve been basing my life upon what others think,
I wish I could go back and redo everything, every time an eye would blink.

I’ve fought to become who I am and what I want to be,
I have to remind myself that one day, I will be free.

Free from the rules I followed as a child,
When everything was a game and life was so mild.

Now times have changed and I realize nothing is fair,
And sometimes it seems like nobody even cares.

It’s like no one pays attention to what I feel is best for me,
And what I think about the way some things should be.

I understand now, that I’m pretty much on my own,
And I know a lot of what I can do will never be known.

All the time, I think about everything I can’t say, what I have to keep in,
And by doing this, my thoughts only get more complicated and deepen.


Soon I hope to find out who I am,
and what I am meant to become,
I want to know where I’m going,
I don’t need to be reminded of where I came from.

It feels so right, what an evil treat.
Hunger pains gnaw yet you cannot eat. 
You’ll never defeat this hell you’ve created. 
Is it everything you anticipated?
Your happiness faded, your world now black. 
Running endeavor forever, you can never go back.

The devil has you and will devour you whole. 
Lifeless and pathetic, you’ve sold your soul
You can’t get out, you can’t escape. 
Just one hit is all it takes. 
Sketching, crashing, uncontrollable shakes. 
Delusions, confusion, your heart now breaks.

The sweet taste you’ll always crave. 
The addiction you’ll fight until your grave. 
Random rage you can’t explain. 
Guilt and sadness, forever pain. 

Awake for days without sleep. 
Inhale the smoke, smooth and deep. 
Inhuman pleasure as you release your breath.
That will soon decease and turn to death. 
Your tongue goes numb, such a rush. 
Tingling touch, your cheeks feel flushed.

Never enough, you need much more
Panic paranoia, shut and lock the door. 
Absorbed to the core and lost in thought. 
Laying on the floor waiting to rot.
Sought for help but nobody cares. 
Cold and scared, disgusted stares.

You’re beginning to look like the rest of them. 
Frantically searching for your friend. 
Under the couch? Under the table? 
Another statistic; another label.

You greedily need
another hit. 
One after another, you cannot quit
A bottomless pit of sorrows and lies. 
Consuming your mind, you won’t be fine.
Blinded by the crackling rock. 
Trapped in a room with an unbreakable lock.

You’ll depend on it for happiness.
But the bliss you feel doesn’t really exist.

Haunting you in your nightmare dreams.
Open your mouth to release silent screams. 
Help me please, take it all away.
Pull me back when I go astray.


Your friendship is a giftOh so precious and so rareSometimes I take it for granted Sometimes I do despairSome days I say I love youSome days I treat you badI say things I don’t meanBut I never meant to make you madEveryday is a struggle for meMy mind is an angry stormSuffering from illnessThat makes me feel forlornThey say I will get betterAll I need is timeMeanwhile I am losing friendsWhich is not a very good signSickness consumes my lifeGetting worse year by yearIt made me lose my best friend,despite what you may hearOh I wish I could get betterAnd stop the voices in my headThat make me angry and fearfulCausing me to say things I should have never saidYour love for me was wonderfulSo precious and so rareYou loved me no matter what Even if I didn’t do my hairI promised I would be your friendAll the way to the bitter endBut instead I squandered your freedomI honestly did not mean to offendIt tore you up and hurt you beyond repairYou cut me out of you lifeNow I regret all the wrong that I didI feel the pain you felt, it cuts me like a knife
 Nothing good comes out of conflictNothing positive is nearI pray that you can someday forgive meMy apology is serious and sincereMy fault is being sickMy mistakes are everywherePlease let me not lose the gift That is so precious and so rare.

Your friendship is a gift
Oh so precious and so rare
Sometimes I take it for granted 
Sometimes I do despair

Some days I say I love you
Some days I treat you bad
I say things I don’t mean
But I never meant to make you mad

Everyday is a struggle for me
My mind is an angry storm
Suffering from illness
That makes me feel forlorn

They say I will get better
All I need is time
Meanwhile I am losing friends
Which is not a very good sign

Sickness consumes my life
Getting worse year by year
It made me lose my best friend,
despite what you may hear

Oh I wish I could get better
And stop the voices in my head
That make me angry and fearful
Causing me to say things I should have never said

Your love for me was wonderful
So precious and so rare
You loved me no matter what 
Even if I didn’t do my hair

I promised I would be your friend
All the way to the bitter end
But instead I squandered your freedom
I honestly did not mean to offend

It tore you up and hurt you beyond repair
You cut me out of you life
Now I regret all the wrong that I did
I feel the pain you felt, it cuts me like a knife


Nothing good comes out of conflict
Nothing positive is near
I pray that you can someday forgive me
My apology is serious and sincere

My fault is being sick
My mistakes are everywhere
Please let me not lose the gift 
That is so precious and so rare.

If only you knew how much you hurt me the pain I dealt with so obvious for you to see
Used to be close now it’s as if im nothing our friendship we had I thought had some meaning
How many times do I have to apologizeplease don’t be too harsh to criticize
I made mistakes and I know I was wrong But I had no idea you felt like this for so long
You left unexpectedly, without any warning And ever since, I still continued mourning
I miss the old you and how we used to be As best friends, this is the last I would foresee
In this life, people come and go I have to admit what I did was a low blow
I don’t think it’s worth for our friendship to die But you walked out of my life without even a goodbye
I’m sorry isn’t enough & you probably won’t come back So I guess it’s time for me to get up and pack
I’ll never forget the good times we had I hope you don’t think of all them as bad
Just so you know, you were a big part of my life But it’s about time I forget about this strife
I got to move on and that’s okay What’s done is done, now keep your eyes on today.

If only you knew how much you hurt me
the pain I dealt with so obvious for you to see

Used to be close now it’s as if im nothing
our friendship we had I thought had some meaning

How many times do I have to apologize
please don’t be too harsh to criticize

I made mistakes and I know I was wrong
But I had no idea you felt like this for so long

You left unexpectedly, without any warning
And ever since, I still continued mourning

I miss the old you and how we used to be
As best friends, this is the last I would foresee

In this life, people come and go
I have to admit what I did was a low blow

I don’t think it’s worth for our friendship to die
But you walked out of my life without even a goodbye

I’m sorry isn’t enough & you probably won’t come back
So I guess it’s time for me to get up and pack

I’ll never forget the good times we had
I hope you don’t think of all them as bad

Just so you know, you were a big part of my life
But it’s about time I forget about this strife

I got to move on and that’s okay
What’s done is done, now keep your eyes on today.
Laughter the inward beauty You come with Joy 
So full & fresh You come with happiness The cure in sadness 
You come with excitement Mending the broken Laughter the medicine To our body & soul 
The strength you give The passion to carry on 
When you come Always within Always on time Ready to flow 

Laughter, the inward beauty so true, so faithful Our inward beauty, laughter 

Laughter the inward beauty 
You come with Joy 

So full & fresh 
You come with happiness 
The cure in sadness 

You come with excitement 
Mending the broken 
Laughter the medicine 
To our body & soul 

The strength you give 
The passion to carry on 

When you come 
Always within 
Always on time 
Ready to flow 

Laughter, the inward beauty 
so true, so faithful 
Our inward beauty, laughter 

Wow, I just stumbled across your tumbr, and I have to say it's amazing.
Your writing....is just whoa.
<3

thanks :) I really appreciate it. keep reading! 

<3 Kat 

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