I AM
a voice
& nothing more
---solely based on TRUTH & REALITY.

(Kat)
is the label
to establish my existence,
but
what power is there
in a name to
define me or you?

There is none.

i have a big black clock

thugloife:

reblog if you misread that

Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love. But in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.
everything you can imagine is real
wat do you want for christmas?

what i want is what i simply can’t have.

The world sleeps as I’m wide awakeI have just made another big mistakeSo determined that I set myself up to failI am living in my own hellSelf hate and disgust is what I feelWhen will recovery ever be real?Everyone tells me its all in my headI feel like my insides are rotten and deadWhy is it that I just cant stop?How long can this go on before I drop?I am so angry with myselfWhy can’t I stop and think about my health?This insanity makes me want to screamIf only this was just a bad dreamI would never wish this on anyoneI would like to know when this all begunI don’t want to do it againThis needs to be a battle I winBut it keeps calling me back inWhat is wrong with me?Why cant this let me be?One moment I desperately want to get betterThe next I don’t want to give up on feeling light as a featherAlways trying to reach an unreachable goalI feel as though there is a giant hole in the center of my soulI cant give in yet againI know this is a terrible sinI always set myself up for failTrying and trying with no availOne step forward, two steps backI can never stay on trackWhat am I supposed to do?I’m so sorry I keep doing this to youI am so damn tired of thisI have fallen into a deep abyssI have reached the point of no returnI am going to crash and burn

The world sleeps as I’m wide awake
I have just made another big mistake
So determined that I set myself up to fail
I am living in my own hell

Self hate and disgust is what I feel
When will recovery ever be real?

Everyone tells me its all in my head
I feel like my insides are rotten and dead

Why is it that I just cant stop?
How long can this go on before I drop?

I am so angry with myself
Why can’t I stop and think about my health?

This insanity makes me want to scream
If only this was just a bad dream
I would never wish this on anyone
I would like to know when this all begun
I don’t want to do it again
This needs to be a battle I win
But it keeps calling me back in

What is wrong with me?
Why cant this let me be?

One moment I desperately want to get better
The next I don’t want to give up on feeling light as a feather
Always trying to reach an unreachable goal
I feel as though there is a giant hole in the center of my soul

I cant give in yet again
I know this is a terrible sin
I always set myself up for fail
Trying and trying with no avail

One step forward, two steps back
I can never stay on track
What am I supposed to do?

I’m so sorry I keep doing this to you
I am so damn tired of this
I have fallen into a deep abyss

I have reached the point of no return
I am going to crash and burn

Thanks for the follow :)

likewise my friend.

I look in the mirror and see a girl, 
Who is staring back at me. 

I don’t know who she is, 
Because she’s not the girl I want to be. 
She puts a smile on, 
While inside she is falling apart
She says, “I’m okay”, 
As pain fills her heart. 
She pretends not to care, 
As everyone slowly walks away. 
She hides behind her mask, 
And pretends to be okay. 

She is scared to open up, 
And call someone her best friend. 

They all turn out the same, 
And never really care in the end
She is scared to let people close, 

It always ends up as heartache
She decides to trust someone, 
But it always ends up as a big mistake

She feels like a stranger in her own home, 
Like she doesn’t even belong. 

She tries the best she can, 
But it always seems to be wrong

She freezes up at the word “love”, 
People throw it around too much. 
Her muscles constrict, 
As she is afraid to be touched. 

She has ideas for the future, 
Hopes and dreams of her own. 
But she doesn’t hold her breath, 
Because disappointment is all she has ever known. 
She asks, “Why am I never good enough”, 
constantly messing up.

I know who I want to be, 
It’s all so much clearer. 

But the fact of life is, 
I’m only the girl in the mirror. 

Hello.

You may or may not know me.
I destroy homes.
I tear families apart,
I’ll take your children and that is just the start.
I’m more precious the diamonds, more valued then gold.
The sorrows I bring are a sight to behold.

If you need me I’m easily found
I’m all around you in every city and every town.
I live with the rich I live with the poor.
I live down the street even next door.

I’m made in a lab just not the kind you think,
I can be made under the kitchen sink.
I can be made in the closet or in the woods.
If this doesn’t scare you to death it certainly should.
I have many names but one you’d know best
My name is Crystal meth.

My powers are awesome just try me and see.
Try me twice and your soul will belong to me.
Once I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie
You’ll do what it takes just to get high.
The crimes you’ll commit for the high and fame
Will be worth millions once I get in your veins.

You’ll lie to your mom and steal from you dad,
When you see their tears you won’t even be sad.
You’ll forget your morals and how you were raised,
Once I teach you my worthless ways.

I’ll take your friends, your control, your pride,
But I’ll always be with you right by your side.
You’ll give up your friends, your family, your home,
When you run out you’ll be all alone.
I’ll take and I’ll take till there’s nothing to give,
And when I’m through you’ll be lucky to live.

You can try me for fun but I’m no game.
Giving the chance I’ll drive you insane.
I’ll give you nightmares while you lie sweating in bed.
I’ll be the evil voices inside you head.

You shouldn’t have tried me how many times were you told?
But you challenged my powers how could you have been so bold?
You couldn’t say no, and just walked away.
If you could do it all over again what would you say?

I’ll be your master you’ll be my slave.
Don’t fear being lonely I’ll walk with you to your grave.
I’ll show you more pain then your deepest betrayal
So come take my hand as I lead you to

HELL

I have learned that sometimes “sorry” is not enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.

It’s been too long
I’ve faded
My spirit
Cracked like shards of broken glass

My past haunts me
Memories stabbing me in the back
Dread filling my heart
I don’t remember what had overcome me
All I remember is losing control
Turning into something ugly and cold
Something I had never been before

Hurting me
Hurting you
Hurting us

Shattering everything we had
Like shards of broken glass
Your memory is still lodged in me
Bleeding sadness and pain

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